Diagnosis

While the physical impacts of cancer are often at the forefront of our mind when we hear the words ‘cancer diagnosis’, the emotional impact of this news – along with the ongoing challenge of dealing with cancer – can be just as significant.

You might find your initial reaction is somewhat numbed by shock, and waves of emotion impact you at different stages of your experience. Alternatively, you might find the initial shock the most difficult to deal with and adapt to the emotions better as time goes on. Everyone deals with cancer differently, and there is no ‘right or wrong’ way. Going through cancer can be a long, difficult process, laced with uncertainty and unforeseen twists in the road. First and foremost, it’s important to give yourself the space to feel all the emotions as they arise.

Remember support is available at every stage, and you are never alone as you face this.

Sharing your cancer diagnosis with others can be challenging. It’s normal to feel uneasy or unsure about how to approach the conversation, how you’ll react, or how others might respond. However, opening up to family and friends can help ease some of the burden, allowing you to share your worries and fears. Remember, you don’t have to go through this alone.

• Share the news when you’re ready—there’s no rush.
• Choose a calm, private setting where you can talk without interruptions.
• Lean on loved ones. If it feels overwhelming, ask someone you trust to share the news on your behalf.
• Be ready for questions, and don’t feel pressured to have all the answers.
• Set boundaries. It’s okay to decide how much or how little you want to share.

Opening up to others can feel daunting and for some makes the situation feel “real”, but it can also bring comfort and connection during a difficult time.

• Stay active: Engage in regular exercise if you’re able to. The type and intensity will depend on your usual routine and how you’re feeling.
• Eat well: A balanced, nutritious diet can help you stay as strong as possible and manage the side effects of cancer and its treatments.
• Listen to your body: Do what you can, even if it’s less than you’re used to—every effort counts.
• Address sleep concerns: Speak to your doctor if you’re struggling to get a good night’s sleep.
• Manage pain: If you’re in pain, don’t hesitate to seek support from your doctor—they can help.
• Ask for support: Reach out for practical or financial assistance if needed—there’s no shame in asking for help.
• Plan ahead: Organising your affairs isn’t about giving up—it’s a step we all need to take at some point.

Dealing with a cancer diagnosis can feel like an emotional rollercoaster and is not linear. At any stage of the process, you might feel any of the following emotions:

• Grief – you may experience a series of losses, including loss of health, loss of certainty, loss of independence and loss of ability to do things. It might change your sense of self or your relationships. Each time you become aware of having lost something, it’s normal to experience a grieving process.
• Anger – it is normal to feel a sense of anger at the injustice of a cancer diagnosis. Many people feel the unfairness of cancer disrupts their previously held view of the world, and this can take some adjusting.
• Anxiety – fear of the unknown and the potential hard times ahead and worry about whether treatment will work is also normal. An increase in anxiety is one of the most common reactions to being diagnosed with cancer.
• Depression – sadness, feeling blue and feeling helpless can combine to make you situationally depressed after finding out you have cancer.

Understanding that these emotions are normal is the first step in adapting to them. The second step is understanding how and where to access the right mental and emotional support to continue living a fulfilling life while dealing with cancer, as well as coping with the emotional rollercoaster as best you can.

When someone you love is diagnosed with cancer, the emotions you feel can be just as powerful and overwhelming as those experienced by your loved one. Some studies show in certain instances, the feeling of helplessness can be exacerbated when you’re not the person with cancer, because you can feel powerless to help them. This is particularly true when a child, parent or spouse has been diagnosed with cancer.

It’s important to remember your own self-care is vital supporting a loved one through cancer. You’re not alone in shouldering the burden of their care, and as much as you want to protect them throughout the process, accessing help for yourself will make the care you offer more productive.