The Darvell’s story: true love is an action, not a feeling

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There are many people who don’t want to hear the Darvell family’s story. It hurts too much to think about sick children, let alone really sick children. But those who scroll on miss out. Because the Darvell’s story is not just a sad or cautionary tale. It is a love story. Love, not as a feeling, as we so often think of it, but as an action. Love, which doesn’t know lengths it will go to, until it has no choice but to go there.

“It doesn’t feel rare when it happens to you”

Before his fall, Henry was the most active of Alex and Mark’s four children. 

“He was always climbing things, running, jumping, just being really, really hands on. He was a handful,” Alex says. 

So, when their two-and-a-half-year-old tripped and hit his head at the park, his parents assumed their energetic little boy was just a bit wobbly on his feet. 

When they took him to the hospital, Alex and Mark were told he was concussed, and Henry was promptly discharged. But within 12 hours their son took a turn for the worse. 

By the time Alex got him back to the Gold Coast University Hospital, Henry was constantly vomiting, he could barely walk, and he was turning grey. 

The emergency care team immediately put Henry through a CT scan. 

Immediately after the scan, Alex watched the doctor putting a canula into Henry’s arm get a call from the radiation department. 

“I could tell by the look on her face something was wrong. I insisted she tell me. She said Henry had a tumor in his brain. I felt like a floated away. I didn’t even feel like I was in the room anymore.” 

“I know that it’s out there… that kids get cancer, and it’s always described as being rare. But it doesn’t feel rare when it happens to you,” Alex says.

“Every time we did a scan, more things would pop up”

That conversation marked a new era in the Darvell family’s life. 

For Alex, it was the first trickle of a stream of never-ending appointments, her maternity leave now indefinitely extended. 

For Mark, it meant tag-teaming with Alex at the hospital on the days he wasn’t at work, and his nights catching up on more work. 

For their other children, it meant less mum and dad to go around. 

And, for Henry, it meant treatment. 

But while Alex and Mark poured everything they had into that treatment, they haven’t yet had the joy of watching Henry get better and stay better. 

The surgery to remove his tumour involved cutting through Henry’s cerebellum. Overnight, their once boisterous boy lost all the skills he’d spent his little life learning. 

“He couldn’t walk, talk, eat, drink, swallow… he couldn’t move a muscle for quite a few weeks. He had to slowly relearn how to do all that stuff.” 

Then came the chemotherapy. 

“The kids are getting the same chemo as adults. And, in some cases, they give kids stronger doses because they know kids are resilient and it gives them a better chance. It’s a really harsh treatment, and it does devastating things to them.” 

Three months after his surgery, Alex and Mark got more shocking news. 

Henry’s initial diagnosis, a medulloblastoma with a 90% survival rate, was incorrect. 

Further analysis of his tumour revealed it was an Atypical Teratoid Rhabdoid Tumour (ATRT) – a rarer type of cancer with a higher likelihood of coming back, and a 30% survival rate. 

Henry was immediately taken off chemotherapy and given radiation treatment, where had to be sedated every weekday for six weeks. 

His radiation was followed by three rounds of high-dose chemotherapy –  each round brought on a wave of painful side effects. 

“The treatment gave him ulcers from his mouth to his intestinal tract. It’s painful, our kids end up on IV nutrition because they can’t swallow anything, they just vomit it straight up.” 

“For every two days of chemo, he’d spend three weeks recovering. There were days where he’d have to be bathed from head to toe every six hours to stop the drug seeping through his skin and giving him a chemical burn.” 

And, just when Alex and Mark thought the worst of it was over, Henry developed radiation necrosis. 

“He was using a walker, in a few months he would have been walking on his own, and then overnight he couldn’t use his leg or hand.” 

“Slowly but surely, he regressed back to where he was post-surgery. He couldn’t move a muscle.” 

“Every time we did a scan more things would pop up. We’d deal with one thing, then there would be more symptoms of something else. It’s been a really, really hard 15 months,” Alex says. 

 The worse their circumstances, the better they become

Yet, whenever a new challenge comes, Alex and Mark wearily rise to meet it. 

Once a retail manager, Alex has become a health professional in her own right. For Henry, she’s a physiotherapist, a speech therapist, and a nurse. 

“You’re the best chance they have to get better. They can’t talk for themselves; he can’t say, ‘Mum I need some physio today’. You’ve got to know what he needs.” 

“I was his nurse on the days when he didn’t want a stranger to treat him. I learned how to do his obs and use the IV machine, because it saved him that little bit of stress that day.” 

“I had no idea about any of that stuff, you just learn it so you can give him the best chance.” 

“Before this, I didn’t feel comfortable in a hospital but now it’s my second home,” Alex says. 

Meanwhile, Mark crams his full-time job into three days a week. 

“That’s a sacrifice he has to make to keep his job and to provide for his family. It’s a lot of pressure for him.” 

“When he goes to work and I go to a scan, there’s always the possibility our lives could be turned upside down and he won’t be there. So, he goes in feeling anxious all day and is just sitting there waiting for me to update him and say everything is okay,” Alex says.

Cautious hope amidst immeasurable uncertainty

In the face of a thousand unknowns, Alex has cautious hope for Henry’s future. 

“We like to focus on his recovery. But it’s going to take time.” 

“While he has no evidence of disease since surgery, they find it hard to tell the difference on an MRI between radiation damage and the tumour coming back. Two years post-treatment is usually when it comes back. He’s now in the highest risk of recurrence at six months post-treatment.” 

“I’m really hopeful that things are going to be better now. It’s a daunting thought but, I look at it like he’s got a year and a bit to be prepared for school,” Alex says. 

Until then, their family’s life is both chaotic, and at a complete standstill. 

Days rush past, packed with appointments, school runs, shopping, lunchboxes, washing, and all the other tasks that leave parents slumped on the couch at night, too tired to cook for themselves. Yet the weeks between scans and results, and the months between treatment and milestones, they stretch out like an eternity. 

“It’s going to be a long time before we ever feel safe and that it’s not coming back. It’s hard to feel positive all the time,” Alex says. 

And it’s true, the Darvells are not always positive. Often, they are overwhelmed, exhausted, scared, angry, sad, and hurt. And that’s okay. Because in their story, love is not a feeling, it’s an action. 

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A donor’s story: Avril from Goondiwindi

Avril’s story
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As anyone who’s spent time in regional Australia knows, there’s something special about country communities.

The road to Goondiwindi (or “Gundy”, as local residents call it) in the Darling Downs is instantly recognisable, as it’s lined with little buds from the local cotton industry. The people are warm and friendly, and everyone pulls together, whether it’s to offer lifts or to raise money through regular fundraisers.

Avril, a retired cattle farmer in her eighties who still splits up her own firewood with a saw bench, has lived in the area for more than half her life, and exemplifies country spirit.

She still volunteers at her local Driver Reviver site and delivers food for Meals on Wheels.

She has also donated regularly to Cancer Council Queensland since 1992 yet refuses to take credit for her incredible contribution.

Avril says, “At the time, my husband and I just decided we should start supporting something we may need, and other people do need.”

“You can’t give to every charity as much as you would like to. You’ve got to target the areas you think are most important in your own life. I know a lot of people who have gone through cancer.”

Avril has also taken part in the Sponsor a Room program at her nearest Cancer Council Queensland Accommodation Lodge – the Olive McMahon Lodge in Toowoomba. The Lodges gives rural and regional Queenslanders, along with their families and carers, a place to stay if they need to travel for cancer treatment. Avril chose to sponsor a room at Olive McMahon for a year, and her gift has helped enhance the amenities and services available for guests who come to stay.

“I think that’s a marvellous thing. When the brochure came out, I read about it, and I thought, well, I can’t help physically but I can write a cheque. So that’s what I did.”

“If I need treatment in Toowoomba, I’m only three hours away, but I know there are people who are eight hours away. So, the Lodges are very much a necessity and appreciated.”

What’s more, she has also generously included a donation to Cancer Council Queensland in her Will.

Avril is typically modest about her gift.

She says, “I hope to heck it does a lot of good!”

Learn more about our Sponsor a Room Program.

Zombie survival and a courageous battle against cervical cancer

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All about the Australian Cancer Atlas 2.0

Help our researchers continue their valuable work

Your donations can help fund projects like this, to benefit all Queenslanders

In June 2024, we launched a groundbreaking online, research tool in partnership with QUT. The updated Australian Cancer Atlas 2.0 shows in detail how each area across the country is faring when it comes to cancer incidence, diagnosis, screening and survival rates. 

The project was led by Professor Peter Baade from Cancer Council Queensland. Among the surprising data revealed by the Australian Cancer Atlas 2.0, was that Queensland has the highest diagnosis rates of melanoma in the world, with the south-east corner of Queensland as well as coastal areas, having particularly high diagnosis rates. 

Another consistent pattern confirmed by the Australian Cancer Atlas 2.0, is that Australians living in regional and remote areas are experiencing poorer survival rates than those living in urban and metro areas. 

Professor Baade says “There is substantial evidence that, when it comes to cancer, where you live really matters. Our research demonstrates that the disparities faced by Australians living in regional and remote areas have not improved over time.” 

QUT Centre for Data Science Director, Distinguished Professor Kerrie Mengersen, says this tool is critical in helping define rural and regional healthcare planning.  

“Now we have the data, the next step is understanding the ‘why.’ Once we do that, we can make informed changes to reduce these differences in cancer rates. By using the Cancer Atlas along with the new Australian Cancer Plan, we can give policymakers, advocates, and communities the tools to make better health outcomes for all Australians.”

Explore the Australian Cancer Atlas today

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Donor profile: Peter Haeusler

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Peter’s story

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What is UV?

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You may have heard the term “UV” before. But what does it actually mean?

UV stands for ultraviolet radiation. It comes directly from the sun, and it’s responsible for up to 99% of all skin cancers in Australia.  

If we get too much of the sun’s ultraviolet radiation, it can cause damage to our cells, which can lead to skin cancer.

It’s true that we need vitamin D for good health, and while vitamin D can be found in food, the best source is from the sun. However, for most people, we can get enough vitamin D from just spending a few minutes outdoors. People who are at risk of vitamin D deficiency should talk to their doctor, as they may suggest a vitamin D supplement.

UV radiation can be an invisible danger because we can’t actually see it or feel it. So even on cloudy and cool days, we need to be thinking about UV, not heat.  

If the UV is at 3 or above, it means the UV is too strong to be outside without protecting our skin. Even if you don’t typically burn, you can still be experiencing sun damage.  

Every day in Queensland, the UV index will reach 3 or above at some point in the day, so sun protection needs to be a priority all year round for anyone living in our sunshine state. We’re the skin cancer capital of the world, so it’s so important we’re all thinking about our skin before we head outdoors.  

About two in three Australians will be diagnosed with some form of skin cancer before the age of 70, so it’s critically important we’re protecting our skin.

The good news is skin cancer is one of the most preventable cancers, learn more about protecting your skin.

“Anyone can get it” – Nat’s Stage 4 Bowel Cancer Journey

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Alice, 5, loses her eye due to rare childhood cancer

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