Your family’s emotional wellbeing

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Helping your child cope

Every child reacts differently to a cancer diagnosis and treatment. At different times your child may feel frightened, angry, sad, confused or frustrated. These feelings are an expected response to a difficult situation and may change from day to day. Children often look to the adults around them for reassurance. Feeling supported, loved and included can help them cope with the challenges of treatment. You can support your child by:

  • Encouraging them to talk about their feelings in their own way.
  • Reassuring them that whatever they are feeling is okay.
  • Giving honest, age-appropriate information about what is happening.
  • Keeping familiar routines where possible.
  • Encouraging play, favourite activities and time with people they enjoy.
  • Asking your child’s healthcare team for support if you are worried about how your child is coping.

Sometimes children need extra support from a psychologist, social worker or another member of the healthcare team. Let your treating team know if your child’s worries or low mood persist or begin to affect their daily life.

Helping your teenager cope

Teenagers often understand much more about cancer and its treatment than younger children, but they may not always want to talk about how they are feeling. At the same time, they are trying to develop independence, maintain friendships and manage school, making treatment particularly challenging.

Your teenager may want more information about their treatment and may appreciate being involved in decisions whenever appropriate.

You can help by:

  • Being honest and encouraging questions.
  • Involving your teenager in discussions with the healthcare team.
  • Respecting their need for privacy while staying available to listen.
  • Helping them stay connected with friends, school and activities where possible.
  • Encouraging them to talk with trusted adults or other young people who have had similar experiences.

If your teenager seems persistently withdrawn, overwhelmed or distressed, speak with your healthcare team about additional support.

Helping during medical tests and procedures

Blood tests, scans and medical procedures can be stressful for children and families. Feeling nervous or frightened is common, especially before unfamiliar procedures. Your healthcare team will work with you to reduce pain, fear and discomfort. Parents also play an important role in helping children feel safe and supported. Some ways you can help include:

  • Explaining what will happen using simple, honest language.
  • Bringing a favourite toy, book or comfort item.
  • Using distraction, such as stories, music or games.
  • Offering reassurance, cuddles and praise.
  • Asking the healthcare team about ways to make procedures easier.

Over time, many children develop their own coping strategies and become more confident with procedures.

Supporting brothers and sisters

A child’s cancer diagnosis affects the whole family. Brothers and sisters may feel worried, confused, left out, jealous or guilty. They may also miss spending time with their parents while treatment is taking place. Although every child responds differently, staying connected and including siblings wherever possible can help them adjust. You can support siblings by:

  • Encouraging them to ask questions.
  • Giving honest, age-appropriate information.
  • Spending one-on-one time together when possible.
  • Keeping familiar routines where you can.
  • Letting them know that all feelings are okay and that they are still an important part of the family.

If you are concerned about how a sibling is coping, speak with your healthcare team about available support services.

Looking after yourself as a parent or carer

Caring for a child with cancer can be emotionally and physically exhausting. Many parents describe feeling frightened, overwhelmed, angry, sad or uncertain at different times during treatment. These feelings are common. Looking after yourself is not selfish; it helps you continue caring for your child and family. You may find it helpful to:

  • Ask family and friends to help with everyday tasks.
  • Accept support from your healthcare team.
  • Talk with someone you trust about how you are feeling.
  • Take short breaks when you can.
  • Stay connected with your partner, family and friends.
  • Seek professional support if you feel overwhelmed.

Remember, you do not have to manage everything on your own Cancer Council Queensland has a dedicated team who can listen, support and provide you with the information you need – call us on 13 11 20. There are many other organisations and professionals who can support you throughout your child’s treatment. These include:

Recognising when your child needs extra support

Most children experience a range of emotions during cancer treatment and gradually find ways to cope. However, there may be times when they need additional support. Consider speaking with your child’s healthcare team if your child:

  • Seems worried, sad or withdrawn most days.
  • Loses interest in activities they usually enjoy.
  • Has ongoing changes in sleep or behaviour.
  • Becomes unusually fearful or distressed.
  • Finds it difficult to cope with treatment despite your support.

Early support from a psychologist, social worker or other member of your child’s healthcare team can help your family develop strategies to manage these challenges. Asking for help is a positive step and an important part of helping care for your child’s wellbeing.

Everyday life during treatment

Cancer treatment becomes part of everyday life for a while, but it doesn’t have to define it. Although routines may change, many families find that keeping familiar activities and staying connected with school, friends and loved ones helps children feel more secure. This section offers practical ideas to help your family navigate day-to-day life during treatment while maintaining as much normality as possible. Cancer treatment will change many parts of your family’s life, but keeping some familiar routines can help children feel safe and provide a sense of normality. Some days your child may feel well enough to play, learn or spend time with family and friends. On other days they may need extra rest. Try to be flexible and let your child’s energy guide what they do. You can help by:

  • Keeping familiar routines where possible.
  • Encouraging play and enjoyable activities.
  • Celebrating birthdays and special occasions.
  • Including your child in family life and everyday decisions.
  • Focusing on what your child can do rather than what they cannot.

Everyday family moments can make a big difference during treatment.

Going to daycare or school during treatment

Many children continue learning during treatment, although how they attend daycare or school may change depending on how they are feeling and their treatment plan. Staying connected with daycare or school helps children maintain friendships, continue learning and feel part of everyday life. You can support your child by:

  • Keeping in touch with their daycare or school.
  • Working with teachers to adjust schoolwork if needed.
  • Using hospital or home-based learning when available.
  • Planning a gradual return to daycare or school when your healthcare team advises it is safe.
  • Using programs such as Monkey in my Chair – Monkey in my Chair – My Cancer Guide – Cancer Council Victoria.

Every child’s situation is different, so talk with your child’s healthcare team and daycare or school about the approach that best suits your child.

Staying connected with family and friends

Spending time with family and friends remains important during treatment, even if it looks different for a while. Your child may not always feel well enough for visits, but there are many ways to help them stay connected. Some ideas include:

  • Making phone or video calls.
  • Sending messages, photos or letters.
  • Having short visits when appropriate.
  • Playing online games with friends.
  • Sharing favourite activities together when your child feels well enough.

Staying connected can help reduce feelings of isolation and remind your child they are still part of their usual world.